Reflection has been a constant part of my daily processes in the past three years. It’s not an easy lesson to learn but I believe that any amount of effort spent practicing it, is totally worth it. I don’t think reflection in itself holds any complication in terms of achieving it, but rather it’s the feelings arising from the observation of our past actions that can become a problem. For me the main feeling had always been toxic shame. The problem with toxic shame is that it drowns any attempt to identify lessons in a positive way. Toxic shame brings with it fear, negativity, anger, and defensiveness.
Since the beginning of the year, I have been learning how to identify toxic shame, determine the thoughts producing it, cancel those thoughts, and observe the real lessons waiting around my actions, while treating myself with love and kindness. Like all actions, sustained presence and perseverance without succumbing to self-derision and negativity, is the main way of achieving any target. Nine months later, I am proud to say I have reached the point where either toxic shame doesn’t occur or if it does, it feels like a tiny sparkle trying to lit clear water. I am grateful I can observe the lessons and adapt faster and with the necessary intent. I’m grateful I can taste freedom from self-imposed chains. I’m grateful for Estelle, who taught me how to reach these levels of kindness. This post is dedicated to reflection hence the title Reflective Gratitude.
This week I am also grateful for friends. Two old friends, Liz (Liz’s Twitter) and Jade (Jade’s Twitter), who I met at dark times three and a half years ago have reappeared in my life and one new friend the amazing Andreea (Andreea’s Twitter) who is probably one of the most kind, brilliant, and inspiring people I’ve ever met. Life is better with friends, always. My life is richer because of them and all my other friends.
I’m celebrating a significant shift in how I see my day job, my writing work, and work in general. I am grateful for my day job despite sometimes getting in the way of my writing, because it sustains me and teaches me the necessary lessons in ways of achieving targets and communicating with other people using kindness and love. I’m grateful for the people I work with daily, everyone is brilliant in their own unique way, and celebrating the uniqueness empowers people and allows them to thrive.
I’m grateful because I wrote every day this week, despite not being able to continue editing my work-in-progress novel. Every word I write is helping me realise what a blessing writing is and how much I love it.
As always, I’m grateful for the music that helps me through difficult times and accompanies my writing sessions. Music is a gift for everyone so here’s some music I love: Thomas Bergersen – Colors of Love (Sun)
This post is part of the Celebrate the Small Things blog hop hosted by Lexa Cain. Thank you so much for reading. What are you celebrating this week? Let me know by leaving your thoughts in the comments section.