Life’s storms usually carry lessons hidden in them. At least, this has been my experience so far and I believe that it is true. It has been an intriguing week as it gave me some perspective on the magnitude of the storm I have had around me and how stressed I’ve been in the past months.
As I looked back at the last three weeks, to my horror and distress, I found a continuous downgrading pattern of positive thinking and a gradual increase in “what’s the point” thought patterns fuelled by the stress and general exhaustion. The more I struggled against it, the worse it became until I sat back last weekend and listened carefully in silence. What I found was the need to stop and centre myself. Once I knew what the problem was the solution was easy: I gave myself permission to sit back, relax, and calm down without feeling guilty, unproductive, or anything else that is negative and works with “should” pseudo-facts masquerading as natural laws. That was the turning point where the winding down truly started.
That’s when the week started feeling as if I was entering the eye of the storm, where things are calm and one gets a breathing moment before the fury of the storm begins anew. To my delight I found my creative juices boiling again, thinking about the novel I am finishing now, further editing for both this and the previous novel I finished earlier this year, as well as posts for this blog.
But most importantly, I started planning my future, taking into account that I want my writing to be part of the way I earn my living.
Change is around the corner and it will affect my life in some significant ways. I could even say that such change was long overdue, but that would mean I cling to the past in a negative way. So I choose to believe this is the correct time for such change and I choose not to resist it, no matter what it brings to me in the New Year. Resistance is futile unless one elects to live a lie in which resistance does not exist. I decided to shed the lie three and a half years ago and now I’m dropping my resistance, little by little. And the most fascinating part of my journey is the refusal to give up, no matter what the circumstances and obstacles. Perhaps that’s why I love the following quote so much, not because it indicates some arrogant badass warrior (of any gender), but because it reminds me that I am not a leaf at the mercy of the wind and also not a petrified constant that can never change. Instead, I remain fluid and adaptable, and as the only power and authority in my life, my path is my choice entirely:
Fate whispers to the warrior
“You cannot withstand the storm,”
and the warrior whispers back
“I am the storm.”
Beautiful music: PostHaste Music – As The Sun Rises – EpicMusicVN
This post is part of the Celebrate the Small Things blog hop hosted by Lexa Cain. Thank you so much for reading. What are you celebrating this week? Let me know by leaving your thoughts in the comments section below.